Reflection on Priesthood
by Father Kevin Cook

Many times I am asked what made me want to become a priest. Was it the wide variety of things the priest does? Was it because the Church needs priests and I thought it would be interesting to do? Was it because I love the aspect of teaching? Was it because I have a love for black clothes (the answer is a very quick no - rarely did I ever wear black until I was in the seminary)? The answer to all of these is no. I did it because I wanted to do what God wanted, and this is what He asked. Period.

Growing up in a joyful family of nine children, where being formed in the faith was taken seriously, I would many times pray about what God wanted. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to have a large family, at least a dozen kids, and a wife who was faith-filled, joyful, and short like me (I’m a whopping 5’3”). But my plans began to be shaken in seventh grade, when a senior at the private school I attended asked me if I was going to become a priest simply because I was going to Mass during the week. I was, of all places, in the bathroom washing my hands when he asked me (God works in mysterious places and ways). A little shocked at the question I responded with a no, but that question bothered me for many years to come. From that point on, I struggled for eleven years with whether I was being called to be married, single, or a priest. I kept up with daily prayer, going to Mass and Confession frequently, reading the Gospels, and daily praying the Rosary, in the midst of all the ordinary things a young guy does. I would especially ask Mary to help me respond with a yes like hers (but needless to say, I was not doing it quite as openheartedly as she did).

Many times when the thought of the priesthood would come to me, I would think about it for a few seconds and then dismiss it. I was an altar server for many years, but even when standing next to the priest, I never could really picture myself as one. I would constantly struggle through my years at the University of Dallas with the idea of a possible calling, and fortunately I had many friends in college that were also praying about what God wanted of them (of whom some are now religious sisters, priests, and married).

One of the most memorable conversations I ever had in college was with my roommate one late night (I believe it was around 1:00 am - the typical time for serious conversations in college) when I mentioned to him I thought God may be calling me to be a priest (to my great relief he said he had prayed about it as well yet realized he was not called to it). It was always a little struggle when dating as I would have in the back of my mind of whether I should be pursuing the dating scene or the seminary (one was much more attractive than the other to say the least). After college and working, I was given the grace to finally see and say yes. Having stopped praying about the priesthood, and convinced myself it was not for me, I made a novena to the Immaculate Conception of Mary. My intention at the beginning of the novena was that I may be certain that marriage is what I should be pursuing. Each night I would faintly remember my intention and briefly pray about it. It was on the final day of the novena, on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, when at Mass the whole idea of the priesthood came storming back and I finally let God win. Having spoken with my spiritual director about what I thought God was calling me to, he directed me to what steps I needed to take. But it was not until one day when I told my brother that I was going to enter the seminary that upcoming September, that an incredible graced moment of complete peace of mind hit me. Eleven years of suffering were over in an instant, and I knew exactly what I had to do. Yet it took me sometime in the seminary, with God’s grace, to really want to be a priest.

My five years in the seminary were overall wonderful. It was filled with prayer, study, and great friendships. I also had many crosses during my time at Mount St. Mary’s Seminary, but looking back I can see how through so many of those struggles God was at work, stripping me of different obstacles to his grace, and forming me each day to the be the priest he wanted (though I know I am not there because of my sinfulness).

While in the seminary, one of my favorite dinner conversations was listening to others talk about how God called them. Stories ranged from men who were raised in devout families, striving to live lives of grace and praying about what God was asking of them, to stories of men that lived like St. Augustine in his early years. I always found it fascinating to see how God calls men who were professors, doctors, and lawyers, to men who were driving tractors on the farm. The ages of these men ranged from just out of college to being old enough to be my father. Yet it was so humbling to see how Our Lord calls all unworthy men to serve in his unique mission to bring people closer to the Father through his priesthood.

To all young men and women, I urge you to pray about what God is asking of you. For men, if you sense that pull to the priesthood, do not be afraid and be open to God’s call. It is worth the joyful sacrifice of oneself that God’s will may be carried out. Pray daily, go to Mass at least every Sunday and love the Eucharist, go to Confession at least once a month, strive to remain in the state of grace, read the Gospels, get to know the life of Christ, and turn to Mary frequently. And to all parents, support your children’s vocation. It is not your will, but God’s that must be done. In times of crisis in the history of the Church, we see God raise up daring men and women who seek holiness and bring souls back to God.